Today, we’re talking about ‘thinking styles’. In fact… we’re even thinking about thinking styles. Hang in there, it gets easier.
So. ‘Thinking’, huh? Sounds simple. People think. That’s what we do. Case closed?
It’s similar to the whole ‘breathing’ thing, which I’ll approach some other time. Yes, we all think, and we all breathe. The point of consideration is, ‘do we do it well?’. More often than not, my answer is “not really”.
We’re going exploring. We’ll discuss what happens when we do it reasonably well, and when we don’t. this is another quality-of-life thing (surprise surprise) – and it’s an important one! Keep in mind that practically everyone on the planet has these kinds of thoughts pretty regularly. The goal is not to say ‘you’re doing it wrong’ or even to say ‘your thoughts are different and weird’. They’re not. If you recorded anyone’s brain, you’d find similar stuff. The main differences would be:
How often do they turn up? (Are we talking hourly, daily, weekly?)
How intrusive are they? (Do they barge in, regardless of what you’re doing?)
How ‘sticky’ are they? (Do they hang around for ages, making things trickier?)
Before we hop in, let me tell you what I tell almost every client and patient at some point: you are not broken. You’re not ‘doing it wrong’. Everyone - even those weird people who seem impossibly accomplished in life - have most of these thoughts often. It’s not about whether we have them (at least in the beginning), and more about how impactful they are on our quality of life.
If you have a rather overdeveloped ‘inner critic’ - keep an eye on that sucker! As we go, you’ll be able to develop a sense of which of these are favourites of those critical or less-resourced aspects of your mind. Once we figure that out, we can anticipate, manage and ultimately re-shape any thinking styles which are no longer helping or protecting us.
All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking)
Ever see those memes about “I can either do nothing, or attempt to do everything at once”? It’s a thing for many of us - and particularly those who land anywhere in the ADHD/ASD (and other assorted spices) categories.
All-or-nothing thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, is a cognitive distortion characterized by perceiving things in extreme categories without considering the shades of gray in between. Individuals with ADHD may exhibit this thinking style by categorizing situations, experiences, or people as either entirely positive or entirely negative.
Overgeneralisation
Overgeneralisation is a cognitive distortion characterized by drawing broad conclusions based on limited or isolated incidents. In this context, it's about incorrectly assessing how probable negative experiences will be.
Mental Filter
The mental filter thinking style involves selectively focusing on negative aspects while discounting positive ones. Individuals with ADHD may be prone to this cognitive distortion, which can significantly impact their perception and mood. By clearly explaining the mental filter thinking style and its effects, I can help readers identify this cognitive distortion within their own thinking processes or those of individuals with ADHD.
Individuals with ADHD often exhibit a tendency to focus on negatives and overlook positive aspects of their experiences or abilities. This bias can hinder their Ill-being and contribute to a negative self-perception.
Disqualifying the Positive
Disqualifying the positive is a cognitive distortion commonly observed in individuals with ADHD. It involves dismissing or discounting positive experiences, achievements, or feedback. Factors such as perfectionism, low self-esteem, and a focus on perceived shortcomings often contribute to this thinking pattern.
I try to avoid ‘Disney’ (happily-ever-after) sounding approaches, and ‘just be grateful’ comes pretty close, doesn’t it? That said, there’s some value there. These techniques can help shift the focus from negative to positive aspects, promote self-appreciation, and enhance overall Ill-being. By incorporating these strategies into daily life, individuals can counterbalance the tendency to disqualify the positive. We’ll keep developing the idea.
Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusions is a cognitive distortion characterized by making assumptions or reaching conclusions without sufficient evidence. In individuals with ADHD, this thinking style may manifest as mind-reading or fortune-telling.
Mind-reading and fortune-telling are subtypes of jumping to conclusions commonly observed in individuals with ADHD. Mind-reading involves assuming what others think without concrete evidence, while fortune-telling involves predicting negative outcomes without sufficient basis.
Assumptions and reactions are only ever informed by the past. As such, we are all vulnerable to turning the present into an echo of the past, by assuming our current circumstances and capacity are the same as they were historically. Here we begin to challenge assumptions, seeking evidence, and consider alternative explanations. We find ways to consider our own assumptions ‘from a distance’, so to speak, and examine their value and accuracy.
Catastrophising
Catastrophising is a cognitive distortion characterized by magnifying and overestimating the potential negative outcomes of a situation. Individuals with ADHD can be more prone to catastrophising, as emotions often hit harder, and spare brain-resources are not guaranteed. This often leads to a ‘bottleneck’ in thoughts and emotions, and often in behaviours. Bottlenecks cause pressure, agitation and distress. Unsurprisingly, that leads us down the path (and into a loop) to a stuck brain with temporarily impaired problem-solving abilities.
Personalisation
We attribute excessive responsibility or blame to ourself, (mentally beat ourselves up) for negative events or outcomes that are largely beyond our control.
Emotional Reasoning
When we base our judgments and decisions on our feelings/emotions rather than objective evidence. If we’re already tired or stressed, this can happen fast.
Should/Must Statements
Should/must statements are rigid and inflexible beliefs about how individuals and others should behave or how things should be. This thinking style is often associated with perfectionism and self-imposed pressure.
It’s important to examine how ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements contribute to feelings of failure and overwhelm in individuals with ADHD. The constant pursuit of unattainable standards can lead to a cycle of disappointment and self-criticism.
Labelling
Labelling refers to the tendency to assign fixed and negative labels to oneself or others based on specific behaviors or characteristics. Strategies may include cognitive interventions such as questioning the validity of labels, reframing negative self-talk, and embracing the complexity of human experiences. By incorporating these techniques, individuals can break free from limiting labels, foster self-acceptance, and embrace their potential for growth and personal development.
Formal(ish) Conclusion
I want to convey a message of hope and empowerment to individuals with and without ADHD. While unhelpful thinking styles may present challenges, they are not insurmountable. With awareness, effort, and the implementation of effective strategies, they can be diminished to the point of having no power over us at all. We may be able to extinguish some unhelpful patterns entirely. These changes allow us to free up mental resources, and repurpose those resources to something more helpful.
Technique and ideas
There’s a fair bit of upside here. You don’t need to stop thinking these ways. Hell, you don’t even need to read this or ever think about it again if you don’t want to. The choice is yours, and I’m glad we all have a choice. If you choose to think about it a little, maybe even work on it, that will be your undertaking, and your achievement. I’d be encouraging you to absolutely take 100% ownership of that achievement, and 100% of the praise. Nobody can change these things for us (except us, of course).
You don’t have to do it perfectly (remember the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ and ‘black/white’ thinking?). In fact, I strongly suggest you avoid even trying, because you’ll end up strengthening the part of your brain that we’re trying to tame!
Anyone who’s had a brush with a therapist, or any ‘welcome to psychology’ media, will have heard of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). And no, I’m not going for the low-hanging fruit of “omg CBT is so formulaic and lame, everyone does that, it’s so 1990’s…” CBT has a place, and some really significant value when applied well to the right ‘person-mind-brain’ in the right circumstances.
My pitch is that ‘challenging’ some of these unhelpful thinking styles as they show up in our minds, is probably not going to be helpful - at least for the first days and weeks. Going to battle with anything (internal or external) demands a huge amount of energy and resources.
Generally speaking, ‘unhelpful thinking styles’ manifest as a symptom of not having enough energy and resources to effectively engage the situation in the first place.
Thankfully there are other ways which I believe are more effective and less resource intensive. Start by observing your thoughts. I sometimes call this ‘metacognition’ when I’m feeling fancy. Here’s a basic approach:
Notice, observe, track, reflect, and so forth. Notice when they arise, and what helps ‘un-stick’ your thinking to free you from them.
Do this over days and weeks, and ideally, make a note of when and where and what happens in your mind.
Note what else changes in your body. Sometimes you may find you feel a little ‘light-headed’ or get ‘tunnel vision’. Sometimes you might have some markers I’d associate with distress, stress or anxiety. You may feel hot or cold or shaky (for example). Just observe, no judgement, no inner critic!
Have a shot at thinking about common environments and interactions in your days. Identify which of these will very likely show up in your future (think school, work, sport, family, etc.).
Try a little experiment: get up tomorrow morning (for example), and think about the day ahead. If you have some of these events which you know often activate unhelpful thoughts, note them down.
Come up with 3 things you can due to gently relax prior to the event. Think about things you could do or say differently during the event which might change the effect upon you.
Example: I feel anxious when I go into math class because math often seems confusing, and I think my teacher doesn’t like me much. Before I go into the class, I’ll take a few deep breaths, then have a drink of water. I’ll splash my face to bring my mind back to the present.
Once I'm in class, I’ll observe my body and mind:
● When I sit down to start the class
● When the teacher starts talking
● When she starts teaching us new concepts
● When I feel confused or lost?
● When I start thinking ‘why is this so much harder for me than everyone else..?’.
I could breathe deeply, and remind myself that everything is okay. I remember that feelings aren’t always ‘facts’. Thoughts and feelings pass like clouds in front of the sun. In those cloudy moments, the whole world may seem ‘darker’, but I know that thoughts and feelings never stay for long. If I practice these things for long enough, I might just find a way to have more relaxed, sunnier days.
References:
Burns, D. D. (1999). The Feeling Good Handbook. Penguin Books. Grohol, J. M. (2021). Cognitive Distortions: When Your Brain Lies to You. Psych Central.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.
Leahy, R. L. (2003). Cognitive therapy techniques: A practitioner's guide. Guilford Press.
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual. Guilford Press.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2018). Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life. Vintage.
Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Iishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner's guide. Guilford Press.
Comments